I sent a nude to my girlfriend and she broke up with me...
My girlfriend always liked surprises, and I like to innovate, I always take her to different places, random outings. She's addicted to Monster energy drink, so whenever I can, I buy a can for myself and put my dick next to the Monster, get it hard, take a picture and send it to her... at first she would get euphoric and tell me that these photos were hot, her words!! I almost pissed my pants.
I've already sent a photo with my balls next to the Monster, a photo of the seam of my sack, but she was getting tired of it. I thought to myself, is it the energy drink?? I switched to Red Bull and she didn't like it, she started saying that our relationship wasn't the same anymore, I tried to send a nude with my dick out, lay on my side and held my left ball, but it didn't work.
Our sex life isn't the same either, she always gets pouty with me and only wants to give me doggy style, she says she doesn't want to see my face, I tried to fix this shitty situation, since the photos with Monster weren't working out, I didn't think at the time.
I took a deep breath and sent a photo of myself spreading my butt, I don't know, I went too far for this woman, she just said "ew"... disgust. I felt like trash, since I sent the photo of my open ass our relationship cooled down and a few days passed and she broke up with me.
I can't drink Monster anymore because I remember her, I lost my girlfriend for wanting to be different, just for the fact of spreading my ass, you know that men only send pictures of their dicks, straight dick, sideways, the seam of the balls, sometimes I think I should have sent a photo opening my asshole with one hand and the other holding the Monster can, maybe I would still be with my love.
I accidentally put my balls in my friend's mouth
So, I was at my friend's place. It's 3 AM, and my friend Mike was absolutely out for the count on the couch, mouth wide open, snoring like an Irish guy. Naturally, being his bro, I thought it would be funny if I made him sniff my balls, so I got myself naked and tried to teabag him a little bit without making it sexual, because he's my bro and I have to do it. I'm hovering over him, trying to maintain a precarious squat, and then tried to flick my balls with my finger just to get them to tag his nose, so his nose would suck them right into his nose. The balls got vacuumed into his nose as I expected them to, but the thing is that it felt really good, so it made me lose my balance for just a moment, which caused my balls to enter his mouth and wake him up. When he woke up, bro just screamed at me like I was trying to rape him or something. The next day, the dude just straight up ignored me as I walked past him at school. I don't know why bro is mad, I didn't do anything, he should grow a pair and get over it.
Upvote
358
Downvote
14
Go to comments
Share